Commentary on "Days of Reckoning" by Amanda Redfoot

Amanda Redfoot’s story, “Days of Reckoning,” was well thought out and well written. It took me a little while to figure out what was going on and who was the protagonist, but I eventually caught on and it worked. But if the whole story is taking place in a courtroom, I think it needs to be brought back to the courtroom scene a few times during the course of the story. It’s hard to imagine the description and dialogue of the story Mr. Boham tells taking place in a courtroom. Maybe a simple introduction to the narrative part of the story like, “I told the Jury the best I could about the following events:” or something along those lines that would let the reader know that what he told the courtroom was not verbatim of what they were reading.

Surprisingly, I think Redfoot did a good job writing from a male perspective. The character was round enough with his devotion to his religion but still remained very dislikable which was Redfoot’s goal. Still I think just a little more specific of a personal detail about Boham would do a lot for his characterization. Maybe just a small detail about something good he did for his wife or daughter that isn’t sickening, or even just something for anyone in the community.

The dialogue was done well and captured a lot of the story. It gave the story an older feeling, which was cultish and helped to characterize and creepify the story even more.

One of the major things to work on in the story is some change in the character, but because he is telling the story and starts and ends still in the courtroom it doesn’t give much room for the character to change. If the story just started at the narrative part and the courtroom was eliminated, it could start even earlier and really show an arch in the character.