Commentary on "She Doesn't Deserve My Sandwich" by Melissa Darce

Melissa Darce’s story “She Doesn’t Deserve My Sandwich” was funny and full of fresh ideas. I liked the idea of a nosey fast food employee talking through the microphone to someone in the drive through and trying to give life advice. I liked even more that the protagonist took the advice and tried to save the relationship. Though the ideas were fresh and funny, the delivery was lacking.

The Wendell Berry trend of writing from the opposite sex’s point of view is getting old and I have still yet to have seen it done well. Berry and other authors that have tackled the job of writing for the opposite sex did a lot of work and research with that sex before putting there stories out, and it showed in the details. In Darce’s story, there was nothing to point to the fact that the speaker was a boy until Darce mentioned it, and beyond that it was just an angry flat character that had woman problems.

The dialogue wasn’t very believable and again was very angry and straightforward the whole time coming from the speaker. The dialect infused in the spelling of the words was also distracting and the flatness and racism of the Asian character was insulting.

The main issue with the story was the flatness of the characters. In order for the characters to be believable and likeable or genuinely dislikeable they need to show characteristics of both sides of the coin. If Lisa is supposed to be an annoying horrible girlfriend, she needs to show at least some side of kindness and humanity. The Asian and black characters can have thick accents if that’s what Darce wants, but by making the Asian a stereotypical idiot it takes away from the believability of the character and makes takes away from the story.