Commentary on "Shit Show" by Chris Pegg

            Chris Pegg’s story “Shit Show” was successful in many ways. All of the elements of story were present; the character, humorously only once referred to as Jesus, has a pressing problem of needing to relive himself of the previously consumed burrito. The story looks to be going in the direction of Jesus crapping his pants, but changes when he makes it home and relieves himself in the restroom. The real conflict begins when he is out of toilet paper and his water supply is shut off. The discomfort of the reader begins to steadily climb and doesn’t begin to come down until the very end when it is resolved with Jesus finding toilet paper under the sink.

            The dialogue was very believable and not telling or directly informative. Pegg wrote, “‘Mom?’ I couldn’t wait to explain the pickle I had found myself in. ‘What’s up?’ I could hear our dogs, Fred and George, whining in the background.” The simplicity of short phrases and the small detail of dogs in the background did a great amount in setting the scene and characters up for the rest of the dialogue. In the simple greeting, it also explained to a great extent the relationship between Jesus and his mother.

            The description and details were perfect. They could have been distracting if they weren’t so funny and fresh, but they worked with the consistent and distinct style. Because the details were so good and accurate, it left me being more critical than I probably otherwise would have been. An example is how fast the burrito wanted to get out of him, maybe Jesus could mention how often he eats at Moes and how he had a huge basket of nachos the night before? Also I’m wondering about a roommate. If he’s living alone I’d like to know that, and if he’s not I’d like to know why his roommates haven’t paid the water bill or been on his back about it.

            Great story, great consistency of style, really enjoyed it.