Commentary on "Off" by Aimee Bender

            Aimee Bender’s story “Off” was strange and smelled faintly of Palahniuk and Kerouac and I thoroughly enjoyed it for the most part. The Palahniuk came through when she switched to italic feeling words of insight and observation where she stayed in the story but began talking directly to the reader. An example is when she walks out of the bathroom onto the lady’s foot, “She says, ‘Oops, sorry,’ like all women do and I am mad at that because it was my fault so why is she apologizing?” Bender did that form of preach writing well while staying in the character’s mind and not saying anything through the mouth of a character that would not have said or thought it. It’s hard to express observations like Bender did without sounding pompous and annoying, and I’m constantly trying to find the appropriate balance in my own writing.

            The Kerouac came through in her long, stream of consciousness, cracked out on amphetamines with too many thoughts and not enough fingers and no backspace on the typewriter style. Sometimes I felt like it was too modern and trendy the way she made the narration very conversational, but most of the time it worked very well and kept the reader barely hanging on but enjoying the ride.

            Because she emulated two of my favorite authors, I really enjoyed the piece and I saw in the writing a lot of what I hope to accomplish in style and control of plot and scene. That being said, he takes her hand in the last line? I was pretty disappointed with the ending. I wish he would have got up and left or thrown something at the wall or that she would have taken off her dress again. The fact that it ended with Brothers Grimm shut-eye conclusive happiness didn’t fit with the craziness of the protagonist character Bender had created.